We love movies here at Lou Bega Called, and we know you do too. Unless you’re blind, and if so, stop reading now. We don’t want to make you feel bad for not being able to view these magnificient works of art, where celluloid is canvas, and actor is brush. But for those with both eyeballs in tact, and once again this is not opinion, this is fucking fact, we give you:
The 10 Greatest Film Quotes of All Time.
1. I’d be mad too if “King Kong took a SHIT on me!” The infamous line said by Denzel Washington in the 1933 film King Kong.
2. We all knew Marlon Brando was a womanizer, and fat-ass in his later career, but when he utters those words at the end of Apocalypse Now, “The whores, the whores,” we all took him a little bit more seriously.
3. Even The Beatles took this line and made one heck of a good ditty back in ’96 after Tom Cruise tells Renee Zellweger ,”You say good-bye, and I say hello” from the Oscar-winning film Jerry Maguire.
4. Moses himself, Charlton Heston, fights back against the fruit invaders in The Grapes of Wrath when he finally stands up and declares, ”take your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty grapes.”
5. Marlon Brando pops up for the second time on our list with his unforgettable line “I gonna make him some oysters he can’t refuse,” from the blockbuster Jaws 3D.
6. The line that made Jill Stunkhat a star, in the 2003 award-winning inner city drama Danielle Marches on Seattle, “How much is that piece of beef and where can this girl score a taste test?”
7. Every word of Dunston Checks In.
8. Who can forget Tom Hanks’ performance in the 1994 Best Picture winner Forrest Gump, when he said “Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what is going to be on the inside or if you are even going to enjoy it for that matter, but no matter what it is, you will have learned something, not only about yourself, but about mankind.”
9. “I wish I knew how to quit you.” Jake Gyllenhaal in Brokeback Mountain. Poignant shit.
10. Dustin Hoffman saw right through her when he asked “Mrs. Robinson..you’re trying to seduce me, aren’t you?” in the 1988 made-for-tv movie Jackie Robinson: An American Journey.
So there you have it. A gift from us over here at Lou Bega. From two guys that love movies to, hopefully, three pre-pubescent girls that like movies as well (and older men). And if you haven’t seen one of the films on our list, I suggest finding your nearest laser disc distibutor and picking up these titles fast. Or there’s this new thing called Red Box. It’s outside grocery stores and pharmacies. On a good night you can rent a good flick and pick up some attractive young honies trying to decide what to watch during their sleepover. Usually, it’s something gay like Charlie St. Cloud, but occasionally it’s something great like Arthur 2: On The Rocks.
These five quotes didn’t make the list, but they are so classic they could have easily been up there with the top 10. So enjoy these freebies. Ain’t nothing free in this world, kid. Moneyis power. Green is king. Cash and titties, baby boy, cash and titties.
Have you ever cried so hard as you did when Hugh Grant says to Julia Roberts in Notting Hill, “I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her?”
Schindler’s List had its fair share of memorable moments, but none as thrilling as when Tom Hanks is fed up with this pussy baby women’s softball bullshit and screams at Geena Davis, “There’s no crying in baseball!”
Michael Jordan shined as a washed-up baseball player who comes out of retirement to help some animals friends in the film Space Jam. While doing so, he also uttered one the greatest lines ever caught on film, “I’m not bad, I’m just drawn that way,” right into the ear of Lola Bunny before cinema’s first interracial, intersepecies cartoon-on-human rape scene. Look out for the fat guy who gets eaten by the Dilophosaurus from Jurassic Park in a supporting role.
We were all shocked, stunned, and at least 35 percent aroused when Jaye Davidson reveals himself to be a dick-toting homosexual in Neil Jordan’s The Crying Game with that iconic line “Say hello to my little friend!”
Kirk Cameron knew what he was doing when he whispered “If you build it, he will come” in the 2008 box-office smash Dildo Wars.
We would love for you to tell us where we went wrong, or what could have been higher. Feel free to leave a comment telling us your favorite quotes!