That dude has some serious problems. I’m not one to go talking about people like this, like a gossipy bitch or whatever, but that guy is fuuuuucked up.

He has cotton for eyes. Like in his eye hole.

Forget about his whole oral hygiene problem. That’s peanuts compared to what we’re talking about here. I can call Dr. Fitzhugh right now and we can get him some glow in the dark vampire teeth. Problem solved. But cotton eyes? I. Don’t. THINK. So.

Forget his illiteracy. Reading is pretty hard, I get it. Still trying to make it through the first Harry Potter book myself. Things are getting exciting though, he just got to some weird train station.

Really, it’s the whole cotton-eye thing that I’m worried about. With Joe, I mean. Joey Cottoneyes.

I mean, forget about the meth lab he’s got in the bathroom of his trailer. In his defense, he makes some pretty good shit. And maybe it’s not helping his oral hygiene situation but really, if you think about it, he is just trying to provide a service for his community. Supply and demand. I get it. That’s not his fault. If anything we should give him some slack for being a pawn in the capitalist system. Plus, he makes some really good shit.

And forget about his incestual relationship with his great-grandfather’s corpse. You’d probably do the same in his situation. That situation being- cursed with cotton eyes and having a thicker than average, perfectly trimmed, rhino cock.

And don’t even get me started on this whole “leukemia” kick he’s been on. I mean I get it, but really. Plus, I heard cancer tickles.

You know what, just forget it. It’s not my place to say anything.