A half-pint, opium smoking admiral of the Japanese navy boasts that he will dictate the peace in the White House in Washington with president Truman.
Do you know what the fuck that would mean for hard working, white Americans like you, me, and Dupree, and Owen Wilson? It would mean a horde of rice-eating demons from the hell pools of Indochine would swarm over our virginal country like festering pubic crabs. Pinch, pinch, pinch. They would diddle our children, kill and eat our dogs, rape our women with their little yellow weenies, and unloose upon our good, Christian citizens savage tortures of physical anguish far beyond description by words.
But fortunately, this little yellow cunthole will never reach his objective. Someone is interfering with his plans- someone you know well; perhaps your own boy, or perhaps just Johnny Jones, the boy from across the street. He’s out there, knee deep in the swamps of the Solomons, meeting those Jap runts blow by blow. By blow. He’s on the seas in the frigid waters of Alaska. He’s in the air and under da sea smashing the cum out of those Jap fuckers. For every good, wholesome, corndog-eating American woman raped by a solid Japanese inch and a half in the Philippines, Johnny Jones U.S.A. is out shoving a grenade in the boo-hinnies of 30 more Japs and watching them explode like a rice piñata. For every American life ruthlessly taken in Java and Singapore, he is sending a hundred slant-eyed Gooks to a squealing, spiraling death. Yes, and when he runs out of ammunition, he crushes the skull of ole’ Ching Chang with the with a rock and drinks his blood to steal some of those mystical Japanese monkey powers. He’s just Johnny Jones U.S.A., the boy across the street, out there fighting for his country.
So tonight, when you are sitting in your home. Eating meatloaf. Drinking OJ. Remember our boys over in the Pacific fighting those filthy Japs. They are dirty, suicide-bombing, gook monkeys and that’s a fact. Especially the monkey part. They’ve got foot thumbs like the chimpanzee. And big ol red asses. Remember Johnny Jones U.S.A.