10 Comedians (You Didn’t Know Were Female) Who Prove That Women ARE Funny
This weekend, as the all-new female Ghostbusters hit the big screen, we’re sure to hear the critics go wild. Before anyone claims that the new G-Bustys have ruined their childhood or that this is a ploy to put Hillary in the White House – take a step back. It’s 2016, folks. Comedy ain’t the boys club it once was. Here’s a sampling of 10 Comedians that prove that women can bring the laughs too. It’s time to #LeanIn and #LaughOut – loud, that is!
10. Louis CK
Don’t let the bald head and goatee fool you; this funny fella is all woman. Just ask her two daughters who, along with being inspiration for much of CK’s act, also learned how to change their tampon from the notorious freckled cut-up. When she’s not writing, directing, producing, editing, and acting in her hit show Louise, she is your average stay at home mom with a solid B-cup.
9. Cedric The Entertainer
One of the Original QUEENS of Comedy, you may know this hysterical honey from her reoccurring role as Eve in the Barbershop films. Her energetic performances, as well as her tailor-made suits and hats, have made Ms. The Entertainer one of the premier female comedians in the world!
8. Lenny Bruce
Arrested on several occasions for obscenity, it wasn’t abnormal to walk into a club at the time and hear this dirty dame carrying on about his “juicy wet pussy” or “big fat stupid tits.”
7. Jerry Seinfeld
It’s true! It is rumored that, at the time, NBC wouldn’t greenlight a show with such an unethical female protagonist. “No one wants to see a women with teeth that big!” they told her. So Mrs. Seinfeld disguised herself as an uppity Long Island Jew-boy to make sure the show got off the ground. Plus they really didn’t want the sexual tension between Jerry and Newman to overshadow the show’s other plotlines.
6. Billy Crystal
What else can you say? She looks mah-velous! Fun fact: the ‘Analyze That’ star was originally supposed to play the female lead in ‘When Harry Met Sally’ but when producers said she was “too fuckin’ ugly” and that she “had the ass of a old Japanese man”, they recast the role with Meg Ryan and gave Crystal the part of Harry! That’s show business for ya!
5. Paula Poundstone
Although her trademarked suit, suspenders and tie were reminiscent of broadcast legend Larry King, it was the shoulder pads in her blazers that really gave away this funny girl’s secret. In 1989, the cat was officially let out of the bag when Poundstone won the American Comedy Award for Best FEMALE Stand-Up Comedian much to the surprise of the audience in attendance.
4. Martin Lawrence
Belee dat or not, Lawrence’s whole career has been an effort to repress his sexual orientation. From Sheneneh on his hit television show ‘Martin’ to his roles as Big Momma in ‘Big Momma’s House,’ ‘Big Momma’s House 2,’ and ‘Black Knight,’ this bad boy is actually a funny female! Now runtelldat!
3. Jay Leno
Vroom-vroom! Who says women can’t be into cars? The former ‘Tonight Show’ host may spend most of his time in the garage these days, but it’s HIS undercarriage that really holds something interesting! You’ll be happy to know that under that Canadian Tuxedo/Ontario Outfit that he seems to fancy, rests even more denim in the form of a bra and panties. And what’s under those? A front butt and a dumpy pair of bosoms with a 1/3 Boob-to-Nipple ratio (not too shabby, Mrs. Leno). How’s that for a Headline?!
2. Mitch Hedberg
Long hair. Check. Stylish sunglasses. Check. Tragically her life was cut short from a drug overdose (heroine, hint hint), but that doesn’t stop this countess of comedy from being one of the all-time greats. Now don’t feel bad if you were thrown off; her brand of incredibly witty one-liners was so clever and original that we ALL thought she had to be a man. That was until her autopsy revealed two sexy X chromosomes! Just like that, Mitch went from He-larious to She-larious.
1. Larry The Cable Guy
Git-HER-done! When she’s not peddling Prilosec or starring in Oscar-bait like the award-winning ‘Witless Protection,’ Larry The Cable Guy is actually Whitney St. Dan, The NOT-SO Cable GIRL! After she got her big break on The Blue Collar Comedy Tour by fucking her way to the top – in this case the top was Bill “Here’s Your Sign” Engvall – she became a household name, even creating her own brand of ‘tater chips! Now I don’t care who you are, man or woman, that’s funny!